Blue Lake
Time After Time
by
Carol Ann Kauffman
Dear Gentle Readers,
Today I'd like to tell you a little about my first novel, Blue Lake.
While finishing up some business paperwork after lunch in the local diner, Nicole, a widow from Ohio, felt someone watching her. When she looked up, she saw him. Him.
When Nicole decided to step back into life in beautiful Albuquerque, New Mexico with Richard, a young handsome British actor who professed his undying love for her on a daily basis, she mistook his devotion for little more than youthful enthusiasm. She had no idea where their relationship would take her physically or emotionally. She would find herself in many dazzling international locations, putting her own life on hold, simply to be with him. She had no concept how strong her commitment to him would grow and to what extent she would go to protect him and ensure his safety and wellbeing.
And she certainly had no idea the depth of his devotion to her, an unlikely but undeniable love that would span continents and a decade of their lives, entwining them closer and closer, while their careers, families, and other relationships pulled them farther and farther apart.
“This series of novels is different than anything else out there. Set in exotic and in some cases unusual settings, these characters are thrown together by random chance...or is it?
An intriguing turn of events can change the whole dynamic of a relationship. The destination is certainly worth the journey these novels take you through.”
-Amazon review of Time After Time series
Excerpt:
Richard called his father in Ireland.
“Dad, you’re not going to believe it, but I’m in love. She is an absolute delight. She's wonderful. You’ll just love her. I’m going to propose…. this evening. Yes, we’ll come as soon as we can.”
John was surprised to hear his son’s good news. Although Richard was highly successful in his career, he was never serious about finding or holding on to a long-term relationship. He treated them all like little playthings. He was cool and detached, almost incapable of forming a strong bond with anyone.
Nicole and Richard were out shopping for blankets for the cool evenings. They stopped at the Happy Habanera and had a bite and talked to Tammy.
“Well, Richard, you’re absolutely beaming.” Tammy said, while Nicole was talking to a woman from the Historical Society.
“She’s wonderful, Tammy. She’s a true treasure. I owe you.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll collect. Charlie’s not thrilled with my matchmaking. He had someone local in mind for her.”
“Tell Charlie I’ll take excellent care of her. I promise.”
On the way back to the car, Richard pulled her to the front of a jewelry store. There were diamond bridal sets in the window. Richard kissed Nicole’s hand.
“Nicole, I am madly in love with you, I love you like I have never loved before. I never even imagined there was love like this. I want to be with you every moment for the rest of my life, My Darling. We are soulmates. Nicole, please marry me. Let’s go in here and you can pick out whatever you like. What do you say, My Love? Will you marry me?”
Nicole stared up at him in puzzled amazement. She took a step backward and pulled her hand away.
“Richard, I…. no.”
The house was quiet. Nicole was quiet. Richard was heartbroken. He couldn’t make eye contact with her without welling up. Every time he would try to talk to Nicole, she would just back away from him. He waited patiently for an opportunity to corner her. It came in the shower. He, fully clothed, jumped in with her, blocking the shower door, and turned the water off.
“Richard, let me out, please.”
“You won’t listen to me out there. Maybe you will give me a chance to talk to you in here. A chance, Nicole. That’s all I’m asking for. Just a chance.”
“Okay, fine, talk.” She slid down the shower wall and sat on the floor.
“I love you. I know you love me. We are great together. Tell me why you feel I am so unsuitable for you. Tell me why and I’ll leave you alone.”
He sat on the wet shower floor across from her, looking broken hearted.
“Richard, you don’t understand.”
“Make me understand, Nicole, use little words. Tell me. Don’t spare my feelings. I’m already miserable. Out with it!”
“It’s not that I don’t want to marry you. I love you.” She touched his face. He grabbed her hand. He kissed the palm of her hand and held on to it tightly.
“You are handsome, charming, and sweet. You are a fantastic lover. You are a genuinely good man. You touch my very soul. I couldn’t ask for more.”
“But…” said Richard softly, sadly, still holding her hand.
“I will not marry you and cheat you out of having children and grandchildren of your own and a wife closer to your own age, someone you can grow old with. Honey, I’m already old. If I married you, it would be selfish of me.”
“Be selfish, then, My Love. Do it for me.”
“Someday you will hate me.”
“No. Never. I could never hate you. I love you.”
“I want more for you. “
“I want you.”
“I want you to have it all.”
“I want you.”
“Now, today, you want me. But what about later?”
“Nicole, that’s not fair.”
“Life doesn’t play fair, Richard. You have to leave for London soon. Can we just be pleasant to each other until you have to go and leave it at that?” She pulled her hand away.
He racked his brain, trying to think of something to do or say to hold onto her. Nothing. He looked around. This shower is where they started every day together. They made plans in here. They made love in here. They laughed in here. They sang to each other in here. He told her what was on his mind in here. She told him what she was afraid of in here. He calmed her fears in here. Now she was breaking his heart in here.
“Leave it at that? Then I take it I’ll be flying to London alone.”
“Yes.”
“So, what are you saying? Are you are ending it? You’re dumping me?”
“It might be for the best,” she said softly. Her soft words stung him.
“Can I call you? You might reconsider. You just might… miss me,” he said softly, with that faint, sweet smile she loved so much.
“No.” It was the hardest word she ever had to say in her life.
He choked back hurt and tears and rage. Nicole was silent. Richard stood up and opened the shower door. He stormed out of the bathroom. He threw his things into his suitcase. He would sleep alone in one of the guest rooms for tonight and probably for the rest of his life. If he couldn’t have her, he would rather be alone, replaying in his head all those wonderful moments together over and over again.
Very early the next morning, Richard left, taking the first flight out of Albuquerque even though he didn’t have to leave for two more weeks. He couldn’t bear to look at her. If he looked at her, he would want her. Oh, hell, he wanted her even without looking at her. He had been so sure they would end up together. Soulmates. What a damn fool he was! He left a note on the kitchen counter.
“My Dearest Nicole,
I love you with all my heart. I will always love you no matter how hard or how often you push me away. But I’ll leave you alone and won’t bother you, if that’s what you want. I’ll transfer the deed to the house into your name only and mail it to you. I want you to live here. I know how much you love it. I wish you nothing but happiness. Have a good life.
Love,
Richard”
After Richard left for London, the light seemed to go out of Nicole’s eyes. Maybe she made a mistake. Oh, how she missed him! Maybe she should call him. She needed to hear his voice. And just exactly how many years between them would be acceptable? Ten? Yes, ten would be fine. Twelve? Yes, twelve would still be okay. Fifteen? Yes, fifteen is still reasonable. Seventeen? Not unreasonable. So, what she was really agonizing over was three years. What’s three years? Pfft. Nothing.
After almost two weeks of being miserable and refusing numerous fix-ups and blind dates by well-meaning friends, Nicole decided a three-day girls-only Vegas holiday with her best friends, Erika and Jenna, was just what she needed.
“I tried, as hard as I could. But I can’t live without you. I’m coming back.”
The girls were staying at the Paris Hotel and planning to see a show or two and get in some serious shopping, because none of them were gamblers. As the excited three were walking through the lobby to the ticket counter, Nicole ran right into a very happy Richard. Nicole was stunned.
“Hello, Love! I’ve missed you. I hope like hell you’ve missed me, too. Little bit? Maybe? Hmm?”
He reached for her and she responded. She was so happy to see him she wanted to cry. Jenna and Erika made these swoony noises.
“Richard, honey, what are you doing here? Did you know I was here? How did you find me?”
“And I’m not stalking you, Love. Stalking would be me walking up and down the hallway in front of your room, Room 621, and peeping in the peephole. It would be sitting on the floor with my back against your door, banging my head on your door, and calling out your name. It would be filling your room with pink sweetheart roses and then stripping down naked and hiding among the blooms. Or, or calling your room phone every fifteen minutes, because you changed your mobile number. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? It would be getting into the room next to yours and putting a glass up against the wall just to hear your sweet voice again. It would be knocking on your door and saying “Housekeeping” (in a very high voice), or “Room Service” (in a very low voice).
“No, I am merely waiting here for you to maybe pass by and, oh, be surprised, and happy to see me. And fall into my open and waiting arms. Is my plan working?”
“Richard, have you been drinking?”
“Oh yes! Heavily. You would be drinking, too, if you came here with my non-stalking plan of sweeping you off of my feet!”
Amazon Link:
“Dad, you’re not going to believe it, but I’m in love. She is an absolute delight. She's wonderful. You’ll just love her. I’m going to propose…. this evening. Yes, we’ll come as soon as we can.”
John was surprised to hear his son’s good news. Although Richard was highly successful in his career, he was never serious about finding or holding on to a long-term relationship. He treated them all like little playthings. He was cool and detached, almost incapable of forming a strong bond with anyone.
Nicole and Richard were out shopping for blankets for the cool evenings. They stopped at the Happy Habanera and had a bite and talked to Tammy.
“Well, Richard, you’re absolutely beaming.” Tammy said, while Nicole was talking to a woman from the Historical Society.
“She’s wonderful, Tammy. She’s a true treasure. I owe you.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll collect. Charlie’s not thrilled with my matchmaking. He had someone local in mind for her.”
“Tell Charlie I’ll take excellent care of her. I promise.”
On the way back to the car, Richard pulled her to the front of a jewelry store. There were diamond bridal sets in the window. Richard kissed Nicole’s hand.
“Nicole, I am madly in love with you, I love you like I have never loved before. I never even imagined there was love like this. I want to be with you every moment for the rest of my life, My Darling. We are soulmates. Nicole, please marry me. Let’s go in here and you can pick out whatever you like. What do you say, My Love? Will you marry me?”
Nicole stared up at him in puzzled amazement. She took a step backward and pulled her hand away.
“Richard, I…. no.”
The house was quiet. Nicole was quiet. Richard was heartbroken. He couldn’t make eye contact with her without welling up. Every time he would try to talk to Nicole, she would just back away from him. He waited patiently for an opportunity to corner her. It came in the shower. He, fully clothed, jumped in with her, blocking the shower door, and turned the water off.
“Richard, let me out, please.”
“You won’t listen to me out there. Maybe you will give me a chance to talk to you in here. A chance, Nicole. That’s all I’m asking for. Just a chance.”
“Okay, fine, talk.” She slid down the shower wall and sat on the floor.
“I love you. I know you love me. We are great together. Tell me why you feel I am so unsuitable for you. Tell me why and I’ll leave you alone.”
He sat on the wet shower floor across from her, looking broken hearted.
“Richard, you don’t understand.”
“Make me understand, Nicole, use little words. Tell me. Don’t spare my feelings. I’m already miserable. Out with it!”
“It’s not that I don’t want to marry you. I love you.” She touched his face. He grabbed her hand. He kissed the palm of her hand and held on to it tightly.
“You are handsome, charming, and sweet. You are a fantastic lover. You are a genuinely good man. You touch my very soul. I couldn’t ask for more.”
“But…” said Richard softly, sadly, still holding her hand.
“I will not marry you and cheat you out of having children and grandchildren of your own and a wife closer to your own age, someone you can grow old with. Honey, I’m already old. If I married you, it would be selfish of me.”
“Be selfish, then, My Love. Do it for me.”
“Someday you will hate me.”
“No. Never. I could never hate you. I love you.”
“I want more for you. “
“I want you.”
“I want you to have it all.”
“I want you.”
“Now, today, you want me. But what about later?”
“Nicole, that’s not fair.”
“Life doesn’t play fair, Richard. You have to leave for London soon. Can we just be pleasant to each other until you have to go and leave it at that?” She pulled her hand away.
He racked his brain, trying to think of something to do or say to hold onto her. Nothing. He looked around. This shower is where they started every day together. They made plans in here. They made love in here. They laughed in here. They sang to each other in here. He told her what was on his mind in here. She told him what she was afraid of in here. He calmed her fears in here. Now she was breaking his heart in here.
“Leave it at that? Then I take it I’ll be flying to London alone.”
“Yes.”
“So, what are you saying? Are you are ending it? You’re dumping me?”
“It might be for the best,” she said softly. Her soft words stung him.
“Can I call you? You might reconsider. You just might… miss me,” he said softly, with that faint, sweet smile she loved so much.
“No.” It was the hardest word she ever had to say in her life.
He choked back hurt and tears and rage. Nicole was silent. Richard stood up and opened the shower door. He stormed out of the bathroom. He threw his things into his suitcase. He would sleep alone in one of the guest rooms for tonight and probably for the rest of his life. If he couldn’t have her, he would rather be alone, replaying in his head all those wonderful moments together over and over again.
Very early the next morning, Richard left, taking the first flight out of Albuquerque even though he didn’t have to leave for two more weeks. He couldn’t bear to look at her. If he looked at her, he would want her. Oh, hell, he wanted her even without looking at her. He had been so sure they would end up together. Soulmates. What a damn fool he was! He left a note on the kitchen counter.
“My Dearest Nicole,
I love you with all my heart. I will always love you no matter how hard or how often you push me away. But I’ll leave you alone and won’t bother you, if that’s what you want. I’ll transfer the deed to the house into your name only and mail it to you. I want you to live here. I know how much you love it. I wish you nothing but happiness. Have a good life.
Love,
Richard”
After Richard left for London, the light seemed to go out of Nicole’s eyes. Maybe she made a mistake. Oh, how she missed him! Maybe she should call him. She needed to hear his voice. And just exactly how many years between them would be acceptable? Ten? Yes, ten would be fine. Twelve? Yes, twelve would still be okay. Fifteen? Yes, fifteen is still reasonable. Seventeen? Not unreasonable. So, what she was really agonizing over was three years. What’s three years? Pfft. Nothing.
After almost two weeks of being miserable and refusing numerous fix-ups and blind dates by well-meaning friends, Nicole decided a three-day girls-only Vegas holiday with her best friends, Erika and Jenna, was just what she needed.
“I tried, as hard as I could. But I can’t live without you. I’m coming back.”
The girls were staying at the Paris Hotel and planning to see a show or two and get in some serious shopping, because none of them were gamblers. As the excited three were walking through the lobby to the ticket counter, Nicole ran right into a very happy Richard. Nicole was stunned.
“Hello, Love! I’ve missed you. I hope like hell you’ve missed me, too. Little bit? Maybe? Hmm?”
He reached for her and she responded. She was so happy to see him she wanted to cry. Jenna and Erika made these swoony noises.
“Richard, honey, what are you doing here? Did you know I was here? How did you find me?”
“And I’m not stalking you, Love. Stalking would be me walking up and down the hallway in front of your room, Room 621, and peeping in the peephole. It would be sitting on the floor with my back against your door, banging my head on your door, and calling out your name. It would be filling your room with pink sweetheart roses and then stripping down naked and hiding among the blooms. Or, or calling your room phone every fifteen minutes, because you changed your mobile number. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? It would be getting into the room next to yours and putting a glass up against the wall just to hear your sweet voice again. It would be knocking on your door and saying “Housekeeping” (in a very high voice), or “Room Service” (in a very low voice).
“No, I am merely waiting here for you to maybe pass by and, oh, be surprised, and happy to see me. And fall into my open and waiting arms. Is my plan working?”
“Richard, have you been drinking?”
“Oh yes! Heavily. You would be drinking, too, if you came here with my non-stalking plan of sweeping you off of my feet!”
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